They/them is colloquially both a particular pronoun preference (e.g. for non-binary folks) and a default for individuals whose gender is unknown. If you know it's not my preference, and you know what my gender is, don't be an asshole.
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You do you. I have a very strong gender identity. If someone naturally or by choice views the world around them in non-gendered terms, that's absolutely fine, but I ask that *I* be referred to using the name and pronouns I use for myself. This is a basic human respect thing.