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What do women want in men? I love this question. People infer all sorts of things about each other based on how they answer. A very naive alien might think a priori that the silly humans must be very inattentive if they can't discern the impact of money or kindness or looks.
IMO? Romantic appeal — like productivity & mental health — was murdered in the hack chop shop. People try to duct tape fifty This One Simple Tricks together into a coherent vision of a human who can be desired, if not loved. That way lies self-loathing and, ultimately, resentment
For my part, I think women broadly want men who really, really want something out of life, who know precisely what that thing is, and who are actively pursuing it ***in the way that people pursue things they ACTUALLY want, rather than pretend to want.***
I feel very conflicted on this. Of course 'whole people' with healthy internal lives and steady progress towards real goals do better at life stuff, romance included. On the other hand, there's one category of 'simple tricks' which really does matter for...1/2
a good # of men: those which are correctives to a hyper-literal style of communication, picked up in a lifetime of nerdy, heavily male hobbies and STEM departments. Learning this often feels like a values-betraying Cheap Trick the first time. 2/2.
Haha so many things have been murdered this way...
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