30-year-olds cruising bars for no-strings hook-ups are less a sign of cultural decadence than of pessism, visionlessness & desperation When people are doing what you’d expect if an asteroid were going to hit the earth in 24 hours, it’s not because they’re too happy
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Replying to @webdevMason
Idk. If I wasn't married, I could see myself living moderately happy as a bachelor who sporadically hit up a bar here and there to try to get laid. Relationships are a lot of work and if I wouldn't have fallen so hard for my wife, I could see myself not settling down at all.
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Replying to @Intrinsic29
"Living moderately happy" and avoiding hard work is not an excellent strategy for the only life one has to live
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Replying to @webdevMason
This keeps popping up in my notifications so I thought I'd clarify a couple things. I'm not recommending people avoid hard work. Each person needs to decide what goals are most important given their values and work hard for them. That might not always be a long term relationship.
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Replying to @Intrinsic29 @webdevMason
Also, if someone is generally very happy and content, but also sometimes stressed out or upset about the general hardship that comes up now and then for just about everybody, that's my model of "moderate happiness." I can't imagine getting much better than that in practice.
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Replying to @Intrinsic29
I guess at a certain point I’ll throw my hands up and say “okay, a certain percentage of humans really do want all sorts of things.” From the other end, watching people who’ve aged out of the local bar culture troll for inebriated flings doesn’t make it look all that fun
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Replying to @webdevMason
Totally. As I said in the thread, I'd probably use online dating in that scenario. But yeah, I think it's pretty non controversial to state that not everyone wants a long term relationship. No need to throw your hands up.
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Replying to @Intrinsic29
My view on this is not uncontroversial: I think people who would broadly prefer to sleep with people who they will not see again are actually very unusual, and it’s cultural messaging + endemic pessimism that leads people to internalize the idea that this is actually pretty great
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Replying to @webdevMason
I'm talking about people who have other goals and concentrate more on them and might also put out a bit of effort to get laid here and there on the side. I don't think cultural messaging and endemic pessimism are necessary causes for this set of preferences. And FWB exist too.
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Yes, I assumed so. Having spent a lot of time with extremely ambitious & successful people with a wide range of goals, I think you’re wrong insofar as you believe you’re describing anything more than a set of outliers. But per my usual: you do you
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Replying to @webdevMason
To be totally clear, I'm not making any claims about how common it is and my initial response to this thread wasn't meant as a refutation or anything. I was simply bringing up myself as an anecdote to add to the conversation. I hope I haven't come across as overly adversary.
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