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At some point we have to stop seeing one another as the enemy. By and large, we don't want to hurt each other, and if we find ourselves continually doing that, we need to figure out what systemic issues are leading us astray
Absolute pre-req #1 is not assuming that people who seem to be trying to figure out what you want are only doing so for some bad-faith, self-serving reason
How hard is it for folks to choose one of these conversational options: 1) "Sure, I'll help you understand (without getting exasperated / being condescending). 2) "Nah, I can't help (for whatever reason, incl. none at all). 3) Don't respond at all.
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