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People *can* change. They just can't usually do it by force of will. If you want to be a very different person, you'll probably have to put yourself in a very different environment under very different incentives/constraints & you'll probably have to burn your ships behind you.
I think if you're very unhappy with your life, there's hope for you; the odds that you're in anywhere near the best habitat for the unique creature that you are is very low. Many high potential people are unusually high maintenance & few environments really work for them.
Plot your escape. Have a fallback plan, but not an easy one. Hitting escape velocity is hard, but you only have to maintain it briefly. Move somewhere new, maybe near your online friends; take a new job; throw yourself into an unusual situation. This is your life
We’re thinking along parallel lines tonight. I did this once; moved across the country, burned down all my social media, lost most of my friends. It made me a better man but not in the ways I would have predicted it to, and who I am and who I was are always visible in each other.
you stuck the landing on that one
Probably related to how we consider redemption following punishment / defeat: not believable until the sin is somehow purged. E.g. Dostoevsky, Germany / Japan after WWII, prison, penance, etc Need a forceful catalyst to change
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