White knight behavior irritates me like little else, because it's symptomatic of someone else *building an identity for themselves* around their own perception of *my* weakness/vulnerability
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This is critical: never make your role in relationship to anyone you care about contingent on their continued powerlessness relative to you.
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To be clear, there's nothing inherently pathological about being helpful or protective. The difference is whether or not the relationship can accommodate the weaker party becoming stronger without cutting against anyone's sense of purpose.
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And this isn't just a thing that can characterize romantic relationships — the worst is when parents (usually moms) do this to their children, using the child's weakness to justify their overprotection while undermining all influences that might allow them to become stronger.
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End of conversation
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Taken to the extreme, it sounds a bit like Munchausen By Proxy https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Factitious_disorder_imposed_on_another … . Or most of Greek moms
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Put another way, never let anyone make you a victim for their self aggrandizement.
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Ah you never turned around to see the frowns On the jugglers and the clowns when they all did tricks for you You never understood that it ain't no good You shouldn't let other people get your kicks for you
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