This is critical: never make your role in relationship to anyone you care about contingent on their continued powerlessness relative to you.
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White knight behavior irritates me like little else, because it's symptomatic of someone else *building an identity for themselves* around their own perception of *my* weakness/vulnerability
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To be clear, there's nothing inherently pathological about being helpful or protective. The difference is whether or not the relationship can accommodate the weaker party becoming stronger without cutting against anyone's sense of purpose.
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And this isn't just a thing that can characterize romantic relationships — the worst is when parents (usually moms) do this to their children, using the child's weakness to justify their overprotection while undermining all influences that might allow them to become stronger.
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I mean, yes? Obviously?https://twitter.com/webdevMason/status/1069425474273603584 …
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That's exactly what makes this such a pernicious thing — if a man's sense of contribution *relies on* someone else's weakness, that they might become strong is a real threat to him. He undermines his own sense of purpose if he succeeds by its standards.
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If anyone white knights for you, just let me know and I'll take care of him.
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My plethora of internet girlfriends need my assistance! I am comment section Zorro!
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Just because help is offered doesn't mean it has to be accepted. It's nice to be nice.
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