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I'm not sure if this is just restating the above but often pronouns start to feel like a power/status game to both sides and people try to find elaborate reasons for their position rather than acknowledging the power aspect if what they are actually upset about.
Fully agree. People often try to control each other with or without any larger purpose to feel more powerful/safer. This is why any conversation about what people ought to do is more useful alongside a discussion on how they should or should not be compelled to do it
