“Nice” v. “Jerk” was probably never a particularly useful axis for understanding women’s sexual attraction
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It still comes as a surprise to a lot of men that women also *like a challenge*. Young women first find the existence of jerks in their dating vicinity a surprise, and then... "hold my beer". "He can't *not* like me!" Nothing like taming a wild man all for yourself, right?
Likewise, it's surprising to a lot of women that men like to be explicitly wanted/appreciated. Typical mind fallacy? Women have an overabundance of (often unwanted) sexual attention, men have the opposite problem, & they both try to give each other what they want *themselves*
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Yes and no! I think most men get 0 sexual attention, and a few of them (Pareto?) get ALL of the sexual attention. Unfortunately the jerks are jerks because they can afford it - we chase guys that all the other women chase too
When men say women don't know rejection - hello? -
I don't know if the "jerks are jerks because they can afford it" thing is quite right; you can find jerks in all strata, but (anecdotally) the ultra sexually successful don't seem to be disproportionately jerks
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I think I've heard it described as "people who are drowning can't imagine what it's like to be in a drought" and vice-versa.
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