Being “weird” in a community like SV really isn’t about behavior, it’s about attention. It’s about wonky/broken(?)/better(?) pattern-matching. What’s amazing is how easily we find each other, while e.g. the press can’t get past simple fashion or bad haircuts
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My point isn’t that the party’s in SF, it’s that *actually* valuing interestingness & being susceptible to involuntary capture by another person’s way of thinking are not universal. People who can’t/don’t do this can’t reliably spot the weirdos, while other weirdos can’t help it
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If you’re a lonely weirdo, you need to either move to a bigger/more diverse weirdo cluster (weirdos vary significantly wrt what they need for intimacy) or spend more time talking with compatible weirdos online. Strongly recommend moving, even at considerable personal cost
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It can be very bad for short-term mental health (especially wrt mood stability) & financial challenges compound that. But there is no viable replacement for social play, and weirdos have to have each other for that! The benefits compound pretty quickly & noticeably
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It depends on how quickly you find & connect with compatible weirdos. Loneliness naturally generates a vicious cycle & isn't abated by one-off social plans, so try to bake weirdos into your life from the get-go — either through employment or your living situation (e.g. roommates)
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