You're not. You're the one being thwarted.
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It's possible for a bright, creative problem-solver to learn to code in a matter of months and be perfectly competent at pseudo-coding a brilliant solution to a much tougher (and more work-relevant) problem that they could write relatively quickly after a few Google searches
But if you're expecting someone to hand-write a program, the problem it solves must be relatively simple, and a moron with a lot of experience staring at built-in functions will perform better than a very creative novice.
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YMMV, I guess.
End of conversation
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