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To put another way - whether the parent is being helpful or over-involved depends on what the child wants and what the parent's attitude is to those wants. Contrary to how people usually talk about this problems can't be divided into those a parent should or shouldn't help with.
Ah, yep. Think there’s a big problem with the concept of “helping” with a task when the child has no interest in doing it. Under those conditions, there’s not much possibility space between “don’t help at all” and “basically just do it for them, demanding token input”
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Yes exactly. This is very common with parenting/education because the conceit is that parents and teachers don't want anything - everything is done "for the child's best interests". And that tends to confuse everything and everybody.
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