But isn't there evidence that children under 4 are the most violent humans. eg.engage in biting and hitting at alarming rates because they haven't been properly socialised yet. Is this what people are implicitly referring to? Using anger as a means to get one's way.
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Spouses also have roughly equal intelligence and capacity to delay gratification. Children are very stupid and short sighted. A responsible parent does not allow children to harm themselves in enjoyable ways (see: the all-cookie diet). This is upsetting to the child.
If you provide a child with something like sugar — a superstimulus even many adults can't consume in moderation — and then take them someplace with familiar treats visible but out of reach, yes, the typical child *will* be upset. Predictably. So who's fault is it when it happens?
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Superstimuli, including sugar, go via human thinking. So not everyone / every child would have that response. (For what it's worth, as a child I generally much preferred savoury to sweet things. Sweets weren't limited or stigmatised for me, so I didn't get weird around them.)
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Sure, I buy mental models as a pervasive & under-appreciated mediating force, with food-as-reward reinforcing specific food rewards as well as whatever you think you're rewarding, both familiarity & scarcity factored in, etc. Tough not to pass on counterproductive models though!
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That is going to happen regardless of parenting if the child ever attends a birthday party or sleepever and then tags along to a grocery store. Temptation is ubiquitous. I'd also argue that totally avoiding frustrating a child for their entire development may itself be unhealthy.
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Not making a claim about how to parent around sugar — my claim is that it's unreasonable to put a child in a predictably upsetting situation with no preparation & expect them to not be upset. If you're going to elicit behavior to punish as a form of training, call it like it is.
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There are many rather shaky assumptions packed into that word "even".
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Most thought provoking thing I’ve read on Twitter in a while.
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As for your question: The parents, for making the sweets out of reach, or failing to pack adequately for an outing. ('Fault' is a strong word – could have been an accident – but it's certainly their responsibility.)
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