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Just found a Pokemon in my bed. Now I'm bout to find out why they call this one SQUIRTle. *Pours wine, gets naked*
#Giggity

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You know somebody's too high when they start watering their pool.
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Tonight OAKLAND, CA I have 2 Shows at Yoshi's! I'm performing tonight & tomorrow only! Don't miss out!
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Stellar as always
@serenawilliams

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Police brutality's biggest enemy? cellphone cameras. Posting these videos on social media is forcing people to become aware.
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life is a gift. Should be treated as such.https://twitter.com/seanszeles/status/750579716013355009 … -
Just followed someone all the way home because they cut me off 30 minutes ago.
#IdontHaveRoadRage -
#wordsOfWisdom BE the titty that you'd want to suck -
That Part -
@ScHoolBoyQ



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I wish there was "terrorist on terrorist crime".
#JustBlowEachOtherUp -
I hate people who always have to out "bad news" you.
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"Just because we're magic doesn't mean we're not real." -
@iJesseWilliams



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Currently watching 'the pursuit of happyness'. Holy crap, this movie is depressing.
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2 Shows Down 2 More Tomorrow RANCHO CORDOVA, CA I'll be performing at Tommy T's 7pm & 9pm Tomorrow and 1 Show on Sunday Don't miss out!
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This new HBO comedy series "Insecure" looks dope af. Look out for it in Octoberhttps://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=veqxnUWa1Hk …
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White people want us to stop bringing up slavery, but ya'll keep bringing up O.J. Simpson.
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*spits* "You call that titty milk?!" - My first words to my mother
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Attention Maryland, I will be performing TONIGHT - Saturday (June 23-25th) at Magooby's Joke… https://www.instagram.com/p/BG_w_f8o0MA/
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Damon Wayans Yunior?
Shawn Wayans
