But I’m starting to think that avoiding disappointment isn’t worth the slow torture of trying to maintain two opposite scenarios in my head, and it’s probably healthier to keep to just one middle-ground expectation
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Prikaži ovu nit
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which shouldn’t be that off, if you’ve become good at making predictions (and that’s something I aspire to be)
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Odgovor korisniku/ci @caeochoa
Not a bad philosophy—I think the middle ground you mentioned is important. The practice of equanimity in the moment. Of not judging the reality of what is taking place. Does hoping for or worrying about a better outcome result in being less present for what is already happening?
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Odgovor korisniku/ci @KHPavle
Yes, it definitely makes me much less present. However what tends to worry me most is whether I’m in a good mental place or not, and I see being present as just another tool to be in a good mental place
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In cases like this one, it’s not very helpful because I kind of see it as repressing my thoughts and ignoring the future instead of getting ready for what might come (although arguably if all I can do is think about my expectations, that’s not very helpful either)
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I wrote down my expectations in a calendar invite whenever I got anxious about a thing I had to do, set it to 24h from when the thing was happening and then filled out what actually happened, did the bad thing happen y/n, if so how to improve, what am i grateful for from doing it
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2 weeks of this was enough to realize most times Good Things happened, and at worst it was a Medium Thing, as in it was still far better than what I thought was the worst that's likely to happen
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give it a shot. i went from bracing against disappointment to working on being disappointed as often as possible (now). i'm thinking that feedback from reality is very useful to know how to proceed and that you shouldn't delay potential lessons that can amplify performance
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I sometimes get caught up in thinking about doing a thing, and not just doing the thing. This happens with work often. "I'm so overwhelmed" and then I stew on it. But if I just start working on something, I'm almost immediately less overwhelmed.
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i write the thing down and break it into 2 steps. no more, no less, unless i feel compelled to break it down further. this helps a lot
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i have ADHD so i've had to find hacks to make myself do things all my life, AMA 
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