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  1. Retweeted
    Jun 8

    I'm jealous of John McCain because he seems to be the only person unaware that the 2016 election already happened.

  2. Jun 2

    Wonder Woman was awesome. Can't get the theme song out of my head and I love it. ANNNHHHHAAAAAAAAANNNNHHAAAAAA!

  3. May 30
  4. Retweeted
    May 4

    Donald Trump and Republicans just celebrated voting to let thousands of Americans die so that billionaires get tax breaks. Think about that.

  5. Retweeted
    May 4

    I'm so impressed and enamored with Chip & Joanna Gaines that I wanna move to Waco, Texas just to redo a house.

  6. Retweeted
    Apr 3

    Do you want to see a magic trick?

  7. Apr 4

    Cuddling is great after sex. That way they cant steal your stuff.

  8. Feb 10

    SEE YOU IN COURT!! Uh... yeah... we work here dummy!

  9. Jan 18

    Affordable healthcare repealed and the tangerine dream taking office... I guess laughter really is the best medicine?

  10. 16 Dec 2016

    How come they don't make rompers for men? We dont get the convenience of a shirt/pants combo??

  11. Retweeted
    14 Dec 2016

    dude in the back looks like he came from the future to try and save Kanye but was too late

  12. 10 Dec 2016

    Everytime I hear Zhu Working For it I hear the sound of a crying client. SHE WANT IT ALL? SHE WANT IT ALL!

  13. 10 Dec 2016

    Look at this silly little hoe #

  14. Retweeted
    24 Nov 2016

    Happy Thanksgiving to all. Be thankful for the characters you love who are still alive... for now.

  15. 24 Nov 2016

    Your Thanksgiving turkey pic may be lit. But it aint Bill Nye n Neil Degrasse Tyson selfie over a turkey lit. No way

  16. 21 Nov 2016

    Has anyone ever seen Drake and David Blaine in the same room? No. Right? Same person!

  17. 12 Nov 2016

    Knowledge is power - France is bacon.

  18. 9 Oct 2016

    Trump knows more about the tax codes, military strategies, and health care reforms than anyone. Who is ANYONE??

  19. 9 Oct 2016

    Clinton has the patience of a zen monk. Trump is just an abusive asshole

  20. 9 Oct 2016

    Trump doesnt understand about the separation of powers

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