My nephew played Fortnite. Whenever he lost, he would scream that the other player was a hacker, and refused to hear otherwise. I and his uncle are lifelong gamers. When we tried to explain that he needed to get better, he grew so angry with us that he began to hit us.
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When we tried to explain that he was 7 and didn't necessarily have the physical response time as someone else, he would simply scream that we were calling him 'bad' and run away.
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When we tried to explain that he was playing on a Switch and Ninja on a keyboard and mouse so Ninja would have different response times, he would tell us we were 'stupid idiots who didn't know what we were talking about'.
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He would get so angry at the very idea that he lost that it was impossible for him to get better. He would throw his Switch. He would punch things. He would hit his brother. He was a child who had no nuanced understanding of his rage.
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When we found out that he watched Ninja, my partner and I IMMEDIATELY banned him from watching Ninja ever again. He threw a giant tantrum and hated us and refused to listen to us. He said Ninja was the 'best gamer ever'.
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But once we banned Ninja, he calmed down. He was able to rationalise his losses. He watched YouTubers we recommended (because they were calm and taught people). And you know what? That's when he got better at the game.
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Now when he loses Fortnite he sits down for a solid minute and thinks 'Could I have won?' and if the answer is 'No', he shrugs and goes back to playing. If the answer is 'Yes', then he will write down what he should have done so he can remember it.
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Our nephew's emotional and mental health improved dramatically when we banned Ninja from his life.
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So I muted this ages ago but let me clarify a few common questions. 1)I am in no way calling Ninja an abuser, but his behaviours are definitely some of the same that occur during the abuse our nephew witnessed.
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Because of the reinforcement of his father he had already absorbed these behaviours and his aspiration to "Be Ninja" made it seem okay for him.
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2) "He shouldn't be watching Ninja" that is why we banned him? Also, YouTube was his main source of exposure, and the age rating of Twitch meant nothing to his at home situation.
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3) "Why are you letting him play Fortnite?" Firstly he had been playing for a very long time before he came to our house and stopping him would be unfair. Second, not our child. Third, nothing wrong with Fortnite.
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Oh, and 4) him being "too young" isn't the be all and end all. If you think 15 year olds are any less impressionable than a 7 year old... The flaming vitriol I have already received doesn't come from 7 year olds. Let's say that much.
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5) He's still got a lot of trauma to work through, and he's not 'miraculously better'. This was just 1 relevant incident of a direct influence that we were able to identify and help his mother (who was escaping a man who tried to kill her), improve.
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