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  1. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    3. velj
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    the rewards of the mortifying being loved ordeal of being known

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  3. prije 20 sati
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  4. 3. velj

    thinkin about that one time when i almost pissed myself at lax then ran into shakira in the bathroom

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  5. 2. velj
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  6. 30. sij

    had a lady ask me if i stretched my ears to impress a boy...bitch first of all fat emo me in hs just wanted to tf

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    30. sij

    Barista: bitch with the pussy gripping like a gorilla fist! Me:

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  8. 30. sij

    guys!!! these are the parents to this fluffy puppy🐮

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  9. 28. sij

    people who can’t do makeup for shit always got the most to say about it

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  10. 28. sij

    pro of having my boyfriends name on my necklace: it’s cute con: getting asked if my name is dominic

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  11. 27. sij

    thinkin about this cow & this cow only

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    25. sij

    “Excuse me do you work here?” Me at work with my badge on:

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    23. sij

    Me and my girls at the bar since none of us can twerk

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    21. sij

    but wow what a moment i’ll never forget

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  15. 23. sij

    that third bowl of cereal just be hittin different

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    21. sij

    Me cussing at all the slow drivers cause I left at 8:55 and I need to be at work by 9:00

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  17. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    21. sij
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  18. 21. sij

    thinkin about how i was renewing my birth control prescription & when the nurse asked me what’s been my form of not getting pregnant when not on the pill i said “not having sex” & there was a short & awkward silence

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  19. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    “Would you like to donate to St. Jude”

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  20. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    16. sij

    anemic mfs be like “yo u seen the new avengers” bro u focused on the wrong iron....man

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