polytribal weirdheart
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. I disagree with me, too! 
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There's a thing I do on Twitter that I think is pretty clever and borderline growth-hacky (eugh) and it's served me pretty well in growing my # of followers, and more importantly, in getting high-value, high-quality followers, several of whom have much larger followers than me
1. make a list of people you want to be friends with. if they're high status + high value, they have lots of followers, and so are less likely to reply to a tweet from you, a stranger who they don't yet know 2. in this list, isolate those who are following a small # of peoplepic.twitter.com/dZedZUEwMF
3. now, go through the lists of people these people are following, and look for interesting people who have very few followers. This is a person who - is active on twitter - has 478 followers - is followed by someone who follows 273 people / has 109,000 followerspic.twitter.com/JpYfzUHo5j
Let's call the big gun Frank Underwood, and the small fry Freddie. If you want the attention of FU, the best way you're going to get it as an outsider is through Freddie. So I'm constantly on the lookout for Freddies. Wonderfully, Freddies often make for better friends than FU's!
Of course, for any of this to work, you have to be an interesting person. You have to be tweeting interesting things of value. You have to be friendly & likeable. But I've definitely found that this has gotten me on the radars of people who wouldn't have noticed me otherwise
There are many ways you can do "non-malicious social engineering" this way. For instance, I'm vaguely thinking I might like to work at Netflix someday. So I sent out LinkedIn requests to everybody who works at Netflix SG. 29 of them accepted. I have mutual friends with all of empic.twitter.com/zPJOw7dN05
So like... if I wanted to take the next step, I'd start looking up each of these people on Twitter and Facebook, see if I have any close mutual friends with any of them, try and set up coffee, do some reading about whatever they might be dealing with. Make friends, basically
I definitely wouldn't bother them on FB, that's way too personal. But I would look to see if I had mutual friends, and just ask around. If they're on Twitter I'll follow them, that's something I love about Twitter – that you can just do that. I'm playing a 80-year long game here
Part of the reason 29 people from NFLX accepted my LinkedIn add is because I do look like a reasonably interesting, moderate-value marketing guy who's worth talking to and maybe introducing to someone. Everyone LOVES to make a great introduction. This is a VERY powerful fact
The elegant thing is, people don't want to introduce shady opportunist types to their trusted friends and coworkers. They want to introduce someone they genuinely respect, trust, admire. So you have to be all of those things. I've been reflecting on that: what IS the distinction?
I think the distinction is something like "sensitivity + effort". When I make a referral, whether it's to help a friend get a date, or an employee, or a co-founder, I want to know that the person I'm referring will be sensitive to them + the situation, and make a good effort
Here's a thread I'm eager to grow: a list of conversations I've had with Twitter friends IRL. I would not have gotten to know some of these people without this approachhttps://twitter.com/visakanv/status/1002195033380929536 …
This is also kind of relevant. To me, executing this strategy means putting in a lot of work. It means replying to every single comment you get. See my replies, I basically reply almost everyone always (unless it seems really bad-faith or incomprehensible)https://twitter.com/visakanv/status/1028000894959280128 …
Circling back: so what am I really saying here? If there are people that you admire, you can actually become friends with them(!) You just gotta know who you gotta win over, and then you gotta put in the work. That's how I think about it. Contribute value 
Btw when I say "high-value, high-quality followers" I'm talking about people who are - kind - sensitive - thoughtful - think and write clearly - ask interesting questions - share interesting links & suggestions Look at the list of people I'm following, they're mostly fantastic
Btw check this out: I have a post on my blog where I maintain a list of interesting reads. I share this post with people whenever it's appropriate to do so, ie when someone asks for recommendations. I have MADE FRIENDS THIS WAY. Behold: https://twitter.com/search?q=from%3Avisakanv%20www.visakanv.com%2Fblog%2Fbookmarks&src=typd …
Seriously, it blows my mind sometimes. There's a web page on the internet with a list of hyperlinks in it, and when I share it in an appropriate context, people want to become my friends. It's pretty wild. I wrote myself a wingman and he lives on the interwebs
Also just remembered I once had a conversation with a younger friend who wanted some networking advice, and I copy+pasted that into a blogpost. There's some extra nuance herehttp://visakanv.com/marketing/networking/ …
If this thread gets about maybe 50-100 RTs, I'm going to start getting people calling me out as an amoral sociopath. Would be fun to wake up to G'night fam, take care of yourselves and be excellent to each other
This isn't radically different from developing relationships IRL, the old school way. Good social media update though.
Yup, fundamentally it's about focusing your attention on the people who matter most to you. Interesting thing about real life – a lot of people get very stuck in the social configurations they inherit, ie lingering in old friendships that might not really be working out
True. Learning to get rid of relationships can seem heartless, but is one of the best things a person can do for their mental well being. Ppl screw themselves by being too afraid to act in their own best interest, instead of just placating ppl they can't stand.
I find it very sobering to think about all the good that isn't being done – ie time spent arguing with idiots on the internet is time I'm spending NOT cuddling with my wife. Time wasted on old shitty friends -> NOT spent reaching out to the great friends we haven't met yet
Yes! Very true. It's the same mechanism as ppl forever seeking approval from the middle school bully or cool kids they didn't fit in with. Moving on & prioritizing is liberating. I wish more ppl were courageous enough to figure out what's best for them & then do that.
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