If the last couple of years have felt rather joyless to you, I have a theory: it's not you, it's the world.
Things can only feel joyful if the top-level normalcy field you inhabit is a non-zero-sum game/infinite game.
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I mean you have to retreat inwards to smaller, more private realities to experience substitute emotions which are not quite like joy. More like escapist bliss.
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the last few years have not felt joyless at all. they have felt screwed up. all screwed up. i feel sick about it often. but then i feel joy too.
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I was actually thinking about this yesterday! Explicitly as measured by a "net dull expressions on the subway" type metric
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rephrasing this in the contrapositive makes the hypothesis feel wrong.
"If the world, but not you, has been normal, then the last couple of years have probably felt joyful to you."
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