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vgr's profile
Venkatesh Rao
Venkatesh Rao
Venkatesh Rao
@vgr

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Venkatesh Rao

@vgr

Conversational account. For work follow @ribbonfarm, @breaking_smart, @artofgig. Tweets are 90% vacuous views, apathetically held. Mediocritopian. IKEA builder.

Los Angeles, CA
venkateshrao.com
Joined August 2007

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    1. hales‏ @thesublemon 24 Mar 2018
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      you know that thing where people tease too roughly because they expect other people to tease back? i think i have that but for talking about myself.

      1 reply 0 retweets 16 likes
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    2. hales‏ @thesublemon 24 Mar 2018
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      i find i'm bad at asking people questions about themselves not because i'm disinterested, but because on some level i expect them to just tell me. a different kind of ask/guess culture. the politeness of solipsism.

      4 replies 1 retweet 15 likes
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    3. hales‏ @thesublemon 24 Mar 2018
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      how should i know what you ask you about you unless you tell me about you? people like to talk about themselves. and in some ways it's *more* demanding to expect the other person to ask you the right questions first.

      2 replies 0 retweets 8 likes
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    4. Venkatesh Rao‏ @vgr 24 Mar 2018
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      Replying to @thesublemon

      I doubt that is an effective strategy Humans are mostly self-effacing and find unprompted self-disclosure difficult, which is why performative narcissism and confessionalism pop so clearly. Adverse selection. I write tons, but rarely disclose personal stuff unless asked

      1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
    5. hales‏ @thesublemon 24 Mar 2018
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      Replying to @vgr

      should rephrase: "talking about oneself" doesn't have to be emotionally personal. i mean more on the lines of "what i've been thinking about" or "what i'm up to."

      2 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
      Venkatesh Rao‏ @vgr 24 Mar 2018
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      Replying to @thesublemon

      Even that’s pretty personal, since banal candid camera outtakes or life updates can be quite revealing. I think this is why most people do displaced sharing (food, travel, faved things...) that signal a lot without revealing much. Much safer.

      9:19 PM - 24 Mar 2018
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      • Jeff Coleman 🥃 Distilled Spirit In The Machine🤖 nicole visa is working on his ebook
      1 reply 0 retweets 5 likes
        1. New conversation
        2. hales‏ @thesublemon 24 Mar 2018
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          Replying to @vgr

          it does make sense. authenticity is vulnerability. and there is safety in permission. but if two people in a conversation are both playing it safe, then it can easily become a power thing (who will be vulnerable first?). and that can be tiresome.

          1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
        3. Venkatesh Rao‏ @vgr 24 Mar 2018
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          Replying to @thesublemon

          People also get less interested in connecting at all with age. As more relationships cash out at ‘disappointing’ we get less inclined to take the risk, modulo dating Suitably catalytic ‘first-move’ irl moments also dry up fast after college, increasing cost

          0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        4. End of conversation

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