Just to be clear, Venkatesh is unaware that 'to top yourself' is an idiomatic phrase meaning 'to commit suicide'.
I hope...
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Sad but true: My strongest motivation atm to top myself is I don’t want ‘premium mediocre’ to be last of my ideas people take note of before I fade into obscurity
That would be...a premium mediocre swan song. If I ever ‘retire’ it needs to be on classier, more substantial note
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