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Is that your actual experience with meditation? My experience is that more motivation naturally (and even spontaneously) leads to more action. More action leads to more skill, and the desire to learn whatever is necessary to be kind (or compassionate or generous, etc.)
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Assuming we separate motivation from skill, is there a way to ask the question "how to become skillful at kindness?" without it mapping directly to the question "how to manipulate people with kindness?"
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I don’t think that way about it. It improves the ability of your mind to see things without angry reaction. Often in that instant you can see things for what they are a bit better. This can encourage kindness for many people.