Meditation is part of a solution - it gives you some space to do this
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I think that just creates the motivation not the skill.
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There’s a specific type of meditation that deals with this, no?
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Yeah Kabat-Zinn loving-kindness meditation. But I’m not talking about cultivating the attitude. I’m talking about actual everyday skills.
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The skill part of kindness (have had to teach myself this because nobody really taught me) is a mindful attendance to people's needs. It should probably be broken down into sub-categories. One of the most effective ways I know of being kinder is being more precise with requests
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Another way of framing this how to nurturingly care for + challenge others as appropriate. Parenting metaphors can apply; lots of parallels to how to be a good mom+dad. The practical skill of kindness is often emotional labor (caring), and (challenging) when necessary
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To me, It started with choosing not to be hard on myself in situations where my natural tendency was to be hard on myself. Then I expended it to others. Choosing not to be hard on myself or others is choosing to be kind. It saves the day literally every time now.
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what people experience as 'kindness' is too various to easily cultivate. better to cultivate the traits that make kindness easier. ie patience and generosity.
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(patience gives you the space to figure out what someone needs. generosity makes you more likely to provide it.)
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