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Most fights in close relationships (spouses, parents, siblings, best friends) follow this pattern: A: Pushes a B button, b1 B: Pushes an A button in retaliation, a1 A: “Don’t push a1!” 😡 B: “Don’t push b1” 😡 *sulk* *sulk* Either A or B: *raises some tension-defusing subject*
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How anyone feels about a relationship is the cumulative effect of their reactions (aka emotions) to the buttons pushed. A reaction can attenuate or amplify over time depending on multiple factors.
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Converting buttons into sliders could help? What about Drop-down menus instead of Buttons? (Context switching during fights?) Can we parse conflicts in relationships as partner-interface problems where buttons that needn't exist can be removed every Therapy "Sprint"?
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