I think that understanding the role of internal conflict is really important here. Reading about Perceptual Control Theory helped me a ton with this. I highly recommend checking out this book amazon.com/Making-Sense-B
or B:CP if you wanna get technical: amazon.com/Behavior-Perce
Conversation
Also related to this is Robert Kegan's work on what he calls Competing Commitments. It's described in most detail in Immunity to Change: amazon.com/Immunity-Chang
Where PCT has really good theory, the ITC framework has pretty good steps for resolving competing commitments.
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The Guru Papers ch. on addiction also notes the role of conflict in internal stuckness:
What's clear is that the smoking *is* meeting some need (not just chemically), even if that need is unacknowledged or furthermore, *repudiated*.
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That's good. worth reading the whole thing?
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_The Guru Papers_ is a giant sprawling mess of a braindump, but has numerous insights into diverse psychological topics (mostly having nothing to do with gurus). I recommend it!
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Speaking of braindumps, it would be awesome to get the Lost Manuscripts of Control. Any strategies for this? Looks like joeldiana.com is down as of mid-2017...
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Yeah, I had the same thought! I spent some time scouring the web a year or two ago and turned up some bits but not much. Maybe a pilgrimage to implore the gurus for their wisdom is in order :)
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Braving the perilous path to deepest darkest Marin
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The first time a guru type (well, a top acolyte of what was then a young movement and is now a huge one) tried to recruit me at age 19 it was so ludicrously easy for me to say, “duh, no” that it I was strongly struck by how willingly and eagerly others ceded agency to the guru




