Life would be much simpler if we agreed we are the evil parallel universe. Embrace the goatee. Also everybody grow a goatee, women included.
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Nope, that's illegal. The good version of you in the good universe is a much better person
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I grew a goatee once. They make very lean faces look evil, but if your face has any slack to it on the sides you just look fatter.
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Goatee makes me look like a male-goat, which is a swear-metaphor in Russia.





