What any of these modes scream to me is "I cannot deal with conflict". But I can. So, "none of the above".
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What's your mode then?
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Not only am I strongly #1, I'm deeply confused and sometimes disturbed by people with different default conflict modes.
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Work towards synthesis, find how to learn from the encounter, or GTFO.
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... needs to be an expectation / reality option here. Default philos. almost never aligned with outcomes of transcontinental family skypes.
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"Let's see if we can't hoist you by your own petard."
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Very Vlad-ish of you.
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These are all reactive.
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Yeah, I'm interested in reactive
End of conversation
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Unless it's worth it, in which case I'll finish what I start
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