"It's only when you look at an ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day that you realize how often they burst into flames."
-
-
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
-
-
-
Q: Why are medication prices so high? A: Because they're on all kinds of drugs.
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
-
-
-
Why is a moon rock tastier than an earth rock? Because it's a little meteor.
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
-
-
-
What's the difference between a joist and a girder? Joist wrote "Ulysses," and Girder wrote "Faust."
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
-
-
-
Q: what did the fish say when it hit its head? A: Dam!
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
-
-
-
we call typing mistakes "typos". what did the stone tablet guys call their mistakes?
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
-
-
-
why did the old lady fall down the well?
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
-
-
-
...she didn't see that well.
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
-
-
-
why is there no rimshot emoji???
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
-
-
-
So the agent asks, "What is the act called?" And the man says, "The Aristocrats." (240/240)
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
-
Loading seems to be taking a while.
Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.