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1/ Most people can _only_ learn social behaviors by imitating role models. Social systems are in fact built around this learning behavior.
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2/ Social systems often frame learning-by-imitation as not learning at all, such as "imitation is the best form of flattery" or "respect"
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3/ Awkwardness of a big chunk (say 30%) of any group being in learning mode at any given time is aestheticized away, making it seem perfect.
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4/ A minority of people figure out social behaviors by other means: analysis, experiment, observation. Their learning seems inept, gauche.
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5/ All social learning involves a high failure rate. Social learning failure not based on imitation incurs extra shaming, embarrassment
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7/ BUT when it works, non-imitative social learning can badly disrupt and threaten entire prevailing social order. Shaming turns to fear.
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8/ Instead of the learner being embarrassed, host social group is collectively embarrassed. Learning success exposes and exploits a weakness
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