i think the "schrodinger's rapist" meme actually fucked me up subtly but really badly. somewhere along the way i internalized that literally every woman started their interactions with me by assuming that i was literally the worst possible kind of man
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I think it's possible now to start asking "ok, how common is it, really, for women to start interactions with men by speculating about the risk of rape?"
it happens, but I don't think it happens as often in public places, nonsexual contexts, etc
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it's tricky to even approach the subject because:
1.) rape is a "touchy subject" that it's rude to ask about people's experiences with
2.) without personal experience, you can't imagine what it's like for someone who has actually been raped
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so if you're following 2000s-internet-feminist standards of epistemic humility and respect for privacy and sensitivity around trauma, you have to be in a state of deep, deep uncertainty about how common rape is, how most women think/feel about risk of rape, etc.
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and so you don't really...ever? feel like you have grounds for seeing some claim about the female experience and thinking "nope, this is overblown, it's not as bad or as common as she claims."
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there's a thing about "it's not ok to ASK and it's not possible to LEARN what it's like to be less fortunate/privileged than yourself, just err on the side of caution/sensitivity"
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like...I'm not sure "don't ask or presume to speculate" is even what the least-privileged people *want*, or what would help them most.
but it's what you'll do if you're trying to avoid being flamed by SJWs.
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This is a way to spread the trauma through uncertainty entanglement
Nice bougies accept the stress as a sort of guilt penance
Not so nice ones take it as permission to check out and disengage — “oh, so I don’t know can’t ask, and you won’t volunteer what it’s like, so kthxbye”
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right exactly!
and like...now I'm wondering "isn't this don't-ask thing actually a shitty substitute for genuine kindness/empathy?"
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I suspect on the part of the SJW grifter crowd, it’s actually a power grab. So long as they can keep normies from actually talking directly talking to victims, they get to divert political attention to their own discourses “don’t try talking to the poor, read my book instead”
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Aestheticized and theorized trauma creates political power because you can turn victims into noble, virtuous, idealized archetypes and co-opt the moral capital for their own agenda. The real victims are too inconvenient to have in the picture since they may not be nice people.
It’s easy to feel empathy for a very nice poor person or a “good girl” rape victim. Much harder when the poor person is an asshole or the rape victim an unpleasant character, but are still real victims deserving of the same moral consideration and justice.
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Anytime I see champions/advocates picking “deserving” victims who make for nice political pawns, I distrust the. Your championship of a class of traumatized/oppressed people is only as worthy as your efforts on behalf of the least worthy among them.
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