Conversation

i think the "schrodinger's rapist" meme actually fucked me up subtly but really badly. somewhere along the way i internalized that literally every woman started their interactions with me by assuming that i was literally the worst possible kind of man
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Replying to
I think it's possible now to start asking "ok, how common is it, really, for women to start interactions with men by speculating about the risk of rape?" it happens, but I don't think it happens as often in public places, nonsexual contexts, etc
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so if you're following 2000s-internet-feminist standards of epistemic humility and respect for privacy and sensitivity around trauma, you have to be in a state of deep, deep uncertainty about how common rape is, how most women think/feel about risk of rape, etc.
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This is a way to spread the trauma through uncertainty entanglement Nice bougies accept the stress as a sort of guilt penance Not so nice ones take it as permission to check out and disengage — “oh, so I don’t know can’t ask, and you won’t volunteer what it’s like, so kthxbye”
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