Conversation

As often happens these days, I tweet an idle thought and it reminds me of an article I wrote 10 years ago I'd totally forgotten about where I first circled the thought. I wonder how often I repeat some thinking because I've forgotten I did it before.
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I first learned this around 2007 when a manager taught me the basic rule of dealing with corporate lawyers: they will want to tell you what to do (to minimize their own work), but you want them to present you with options and risk assessments so you can choose business risk level
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I now apply this to everything. Almost nobody wants to present you with options and risks. Almost everybody wants to steer you towards the option that benefits them the most in someway, even if only unconsciously. Takes discipline to operate against this instinct.
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In a way, it's about respecting agency, but being realistic about knowledge/competence/skill to exercise agency in a given domain.
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A good, principled decision support template: "Here are the options I see, here are the risks I can see. Here's what I might do in your position." Never make yourself more of an agent of a principal than you absolutely need to. Encapsulate expertise into option sets.
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This is one of the reasons I decided early on to only do consulting work based on inbound work. It is *really* hard to use this template in proactive mode. You have to be reactive. Working within the frame of a winning "pitch" can fatally compromises your incentives and integrity
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i guess any iterative optimizations involving people are sadistic colored. im thinking of Dale Carnegie type people thinking deliberately how to win at friendships