Conversation

You know how Rick on Rick and Morty is a genius who can think arbitrarily deep, but operates by “don’t think about it” and strikes a precarious irony-sincerity balance that races 1 step ahead of nihilism? I think David Foster Wallace is what you get if you *do* think about it
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DFW is the anti-Rick. I’ve read his major essays and started but abandoned Infinite Jest and I can see how his inability to “not think about it” perhaps drove him to suicide (I don’t know the details/backstory there do can’t be sure)
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Both DFW and Rick strike me as characters (though latter is fictional) whose fundamental tragedy is that their analytical power and tactical inventiveness far exceeds their fundamental imagination in conceiving a life worth living
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Rick’s idea of a life purpose is McNuggets schezwan sauce. DFW, from what I’ve read was just super excruciatingly observant of “real life”and prodigally analytically-verbally inventive at capturing it, but somehow unable to imagine life as it could be as opposed to the way it is
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I think I share some of these predispositions at a non-genius level, but am naturally good at “not thinking about it” and I think this is what I’m cashing out as my philosophy of mediocrity. “It” being the irony-sincerity paradox of being/becoming
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It’s a genuine info hazard that leads to suicidal ideation if you can’t “not think about it” The Rick-DFW basilisk. I suspect most of us have strong natural immunity to the temptation to “think about it”
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afaik, he was on meds that were working. Decided to try to wean off as per doctor rec. Once he was off of them his depression came back bad. He tried to get back on the meds but they didn’t work anymore, and he couldn’t find anything that did
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