It’s not just that LinkedIn is behind the curve, but that it is uncritically and unironically behind the curve on every damn thing in the most tropey way possible. It’s like talking to cartoon archetypes from tvtropes come to life.
I honestly don’t know why I continue to maintain a profile there. It’s a place of budget lovecraftian horror where hordes of minor eldritch beings from the Industrial Age cavort and gambol oblivious to the spiritual pain that radiates from their realm across the internet
The thing is, it simply reproduces the structure of the corporate world with no edits, and no room for anything that might subvert it to find a foothold. Where corporations really are people, people turn into monsters who don’t know they’re monsters.
Oh shit, I think I just figured it out. LinkedIn is the opposite of Very Online. It’s Not Really Online At All. They’re in a sort of “Internet theme park” attached to meatspace.
This is why I lie on my linkedin with lots of impossible jobs from before I was born...
cabaret host, zurich, 1917
egregore wrangler, san francisco, 1966-69