What if you just optimized for the friends you meet along the way as the only goal?
Conversation
Replying to
I'm serious. Not only is "optimize life for X" in general a bad way to think about life, but "optimize for friends" is a particularly bad objective function.
2
11
Humans are a social species, but not *only* a social species. To optimize for friends is to become a sheep-logic degen and descend into hell-is-other-people slowly imagining you're being soulful and large-hearted in your approach to life.
1
1
8
Replying to
Hmm interesting. I was being more exploratory with this tweet than ideological. I think youre imagining a stance I’m not sure I have. I agree with most of Ben’s piece there already.
1
1
Replying to
"optimized for the friends you meet along the way as the only goal?" sounds pretty unambiguous to me :D
isomorphic to "friendly ambitious nerd" thing, which also centers friendship in a way I find rather alarming as the raison d'etre of life itself
that's definitely true as well, but not what I'm flagging here. Even for very social friendly extrovert people who get a lot of energy from investing in friends, making that the *only* goal to optimize for is imo dangerous to the psyche, a kind of gollumizing one-ring effect
2
5
Show replies
It is a good question anyway: Take up social smoking and drinking, join a sports team, get involved in loser politics, bring snacks for people where ever you go. Say yes to everything. Keep track of everyone and stay in touch.
Centering these things, Ive found is the least best, maybe even worst way of getting these things.
"Overly attached" to people-oriented goals often corrupts those goals, I've found
Muddling around sides / getting there tangentially even sometimes through denial seems better.
just to be clear about my frame to preempt any confusion: that there are 3 variables is very critical – it’s important to be able to suspend each one for years if required. You could just as easily say it centres ambition or curiosity. there is really no center, flow is the point
Quote Tweet
Sermonposting without shitposting gets you pedestalized, which is dehumanizing
Shitpost too much and nobody takes you seriously, which is also kind of dehumanizing
You can nerdpost forever quite happily, but it can be a lonely and frustrating experience
The flow is the point
Show this thread
1
10




