You can only meet your children as deeply as you’ve met yourself. If you don’t acknowledge your own childhood dramas, you are doomed to repeat them with roles reversed. If you acknowledge them without healing the wounds, you’re going to overcorrect.
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If as a kid you were punished for expressing anger, you’re gonna get super uncomfortable when your kid is expressing it.
If adults paying attention to you used to mean trouble, you’re gonna have a hard time paying attention to your kid.
But you can learn to deal with this.
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If you feel upset about something a little child did, the part of you that gets upset is also a little child.
You can’t get rid of it, but you can learn to love that child in you, hold space for it, and offer some perspective, so that you can do the same thing for your kid.
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interesting insight... gets subtle when the counterparty is the little child part of another adult... in Bernean transactional analysis terms, a Child-Child exchange under the guise of an Adult-Adult exchange
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It’s way easier to deal with adult family members when they are upset if I talk to them in that state like I would to a 3 year old.
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unless they notice you're doing it and that just makes them madder "don't talk to me like I'm a child"
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