It goes so deep, the expectation to only show your polished side.
Recently my mom mopped the floors when visiting us, and it made me feel so guilty. You’re not supposed to show your mess to anyone, let alone have them clean it, even if they’re close to you and happy to help.
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What if instead carving out some special time to meet people, free from any obligations, you could just invite them to your everyday life and do all the things you have to do anyway but together, with laughter and joy?
How much less lonely we could all be in a world like this?
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What if instead of just sitting, watching a movie and drinking we could meet our friends to build a treehouse, plant some flowers, bake some cookies, decorate some Christmas cards, knit a blanket, program a LED mirror frame, paint a landscape and have fun while doing it together?
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Most people's (and society's) inclination is towards a kind of inertia. Some people sleep through entire decades.
The pleasures of most people are passive. The most embodied thing you can do is seek active things to do with your time. Doing changes you.
Do them with others.
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Lack of optionality? Sounds like the same dynamic where everyone wants to start a village, except for people who actually grew up in one.
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Are you actually living this way or mostly fantasizing? Most people can’t actually handle this much time entangled in each other’s lives. You think you’ll sing and dance and create. But mostly what you’ll do is gossip and fight and be perma-immersed in petty feuds and squabbles
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Some people do like it. In my experience it’s about 20-40%. The rest can tolerate such intimate entanglement maybe a few days to weeks a year. The sociability of our species has been wildly exaggerated.
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Haha, my sympathies 😂
My wife enjoys it somewhat more than I do but overall we both have fairly limited tolerance for it



