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Hypothesis: few people actually *want* a full-blown community past about 25. They just think they do. It’s a lot of time and work to be involved in “community” in the sense of shared beyond-family communal daily life (meals etc) and weekly parties, seeing friends everyday etc.
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I think it's somewhere in between. I'm too introverted to live in a commune, but I end up at them once a week or so. More mainstream, a lot of East Coast / Midwest culture involves having a "crew" who you hang out with a lot, including with your kids, etc.
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How big a city are we talking when you say east coast/midwest? New York/DC/Boston/Philly? Newport? Scranton? People underestimate how much of the population lives in larger cities now. Small towns are kinda demographically exceptional now.
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I’d say city-norm, for sure. I’m guessing this is way less true in the rural areas—but a fair comparison is hard to make because people out here have kids so early.
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