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the narcissists peril — believing in the best of what people pretend to see in you (or even believe they see in you) It’s like p-value fishing for an identity. If you find yourself repeating the most flattering things people have ever said about you, beware. Big fall ahead.
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“You’re the smartest guy since Einstein” — your mom “Your social analysis is the sharpest since Marx” — guy whose reading topped out at the Hardy Bots and gets his political philosophy from Wikipedia
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Unless you’re an absolutely friendless pariah you’ve likely surrounded yourself with people who are at least slightly more likely to say nice things about you, at least to your face. That doesn’t mean you should take any of it at face value.
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Mild flattery is default mode in casual interactions. Only intimates, strangers, and weird, messed-up assholes will say default mean things. Unless you’re in prison or strange parts of Twitter or something.
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I wonder what the real risk is here, aside from grandiosity, which is often a cope/defense for gnawing self-doubt anyways. Most people I know are more limited in their lives by not believing the positive qualities other people see in them.
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Interesting...I think doubling down on the strengths friends see in you is a pretty good idea. Perhaps the difference bt friends and people. Although I don't see how these don't roughly line up for consistent people
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