Q: What do you call a heretic who moves to New Zealand?
A: Thereteic
Conversation
Q: What do you get when two compassionate, empathetic progressives are trying to tell each other to Do Better in contradictory ways?
A: A lovelock
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Q: But what if they’re NPCs?
A: That’s just a clock
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Q: How many libertarians does it take to change a lightbulb
A: Bitcoin solves this
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Q: What do you call a composer who sets a hillbilly elegy set to music in the form of a fugue?
A: A contrapuntarian
Q: What do you call it when a libertarian-hater pretends Bitcoin is the biggest climate problem?
A: Greenwashing
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Q: What does it mean when contrarians say “do your own research”?
A: Read Ayn Rand and do what you think John Galt would do.
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Dunno why all my joke ideas are taking Q&A form
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Q: What do you call a bunch of wojaks on the losing side of a beef who congratulate each other on their Famous Victory?
A: Chads
Q: What about the winning side?
A: Oh you sweet summer child
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I gotta find a better way to workshop these than tweets
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Q: If political opposition is a headwind and support is a headwind, what is support from people you studiously ignore in case you get canceled for acknowledging your debt to them?
A: Blindsidewind
Q: What do you call someone enjoying blindsidewind?
A: A classical liberal
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Q: What happens when 2 woke people try to administer purity tests to each other at the same time
A: San Francisco
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This is a rich vein. I have no natural talent at crafting jokes and I’m doing okay. What’s needed is someone at least as literate in Very Online subcultural beefs as me, but with a better ear for punchlines and a better eye for self-congratulatory posturing all around.
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Q: What do you get when you mix 1 oz of Trump derangement syndrome with 1 oz of woke derangement syndrome?
A: Salt, water, and heat
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Q: How do you trigger an existential crisis for a trad aesthete?
A: One word: plastics
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