Watching the Snyder cut. Shit there’s actually a story here. Not a good story, but a story. Looks like Joss Whedon’s cut was basically “keep the fight highlights, minimal wisecracks glue to put it together.”
Kinda interesting.
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Ah the boxes are terraforming boxes
And there is a monkey green lantern and a sort of lord of the rings style initial battle. This whole thing is basically LOTR type trilogy slammed into a single movie.
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They’ve got matrix style spider bugs too. And the Ezra Miller flash gets a proper introduction. Damn, the theatrical release truly butchered this. No wonder people are so mad.
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Very tedious and self-indulgent development but proper nerd-out
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Cyborg origin story is quite elaborately done. They cut like 25 minutes to nothing so it was very confusing given I’d never heard of the character.
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Cyborg is Neo trapped inside R2D2 in an Ironman suit. Got it.
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Why batman has surveillance footage of everything is unclear.
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Spider-Man’s editor in MCU is commissioner Gordon in DCEU 🧐
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2 hours in and we’re still wrapping up the Refusal of the Call. Pick up the pace Zack.
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So this Steppenwolf character is basically the 9 nazgul in one
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J. K. Simmons supplies the 30 seconds of actual acting in the 2 hours of the movie so far. Though Affleck and Miller have a few good seconds too.
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Part 6. I can do this. Asshole Superman is back.
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This is like one of my blogposts. Just goes on and on without much of a point.
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Aquaman really is kinda useless
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Aquaman = Gimli
Flash = Legolas
Batman = Aragorn
Cyborg = ?
Wonder Woman = ?
Superman = ?
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This whole epic final battle finally makes some vague sort of sense. I can’t even remember what confused mess I sat through before.
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This credits scene is almost as long as a movie. Doubt this sequel will happen.
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Oh wait this is part of the actual movie. A Bruce Wayne dream.
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Woohoo done. In one sitting. This is what Hindi movies train you for, though this is longer than even most Hindi movies. I demand a prize.
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Verdict: worth it just to reflect on how ghastly the Wheaton cut was. Shoulda just released this as 2 movies like Avengers.
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Gotta admit, I like scale for the sake of scale. We live in an era of truly enormous stories. It’s like those restaurants that try to break the Guinness record for the largest pizza. It may not be the best pizza but dammit, it’s the biggest.
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Quantity has a... err... quantity all its own.
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