Doesn’t work well against illegible salami provocation tactics though. Whenever you react it will look like overreaction. Children, pets, and abusive groomers like Trump are naturals at this.
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Rule of conflict: try never be the first to make a legible move at a new escalation level. Otherwise you’ll lose the “who started it” optics battle. Increasingly that’s most of the battle.
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I studied conflict resolution in college and I remember making the observation that in any conflict, both sides tended to argue they were acting defensively at all times.
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Did both sides tend to earnestly believe it? Or was it generally posthoc justification for aggression?
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But when you act at the next logical level - outside the board of the game - nobody will notice anyway.
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Your next book title - Illegible Moves?
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