People really like to have both sides of conversations. You’d think this is a sort of stylized performance element but it isn’t. Many people have a real style that a,punts to: have both sides of a conversation, get mad when live counterparty goes off script, to force them back onhttps://twitter.com/leftistexe/status/1330386159176982529 …
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Where this asymmetry is lacking because there is no significant *procedurally defined* expertise on the helping side (consulting, many types of therapy), the lack of scripted leverage and steering authority can be anxiety provoking. So people make up bullshit processes.
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I’m convinced half of all business consulting “process” models are just ways to avoid the real stress of live play sparring conversations. Any actual content in say “lean startup” can be made prerequisite pre-reads so the actual conversation can stay unscripted.
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A lot of things that aren’t really education get cast in educational molds simply to provide conversational control. The OP is an obvious example. It’s indoctrination pretending to be education. A lot of business “courses” fall into the same trap *cough* lean six sigma *cough*
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If you do solve the problem in the immediate conversation, you still have to solve it one degree removed. In consulting, you are forced to operate on the evidence of one side of the story: your client’s. And immature ones will often report stylized scripts+diffs.
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The “data” of the consult will be one-sided highly unreliable hearsay reports of conversations *they*had. Unconsciously these reports will have a) caricaturing of counterparty b) consistency editing removing the revealing glitches c) embellishments to make themselves look good
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It’s not a court so you can’t get testimony from other side. They’re unconsciously looking for validation but if you cave and supply it, you’re useless and they’ll eventually realize it and end the gig You can’t cross-examine like they’re a hostile witness: you’re on their side
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This problem is hard. My solution is to... 1. Only work with people mature enough to be above this dynamic, or to at least want to be above it 2. Work long-term (> 4-5 meetings over 6 months) so you can reinforce better self-witnessing behaviors
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