Took me unreasonably long to see this, because I was distracted by the red herring of the ethics/morality of harmony-solving. It’s simpler than that. Harmony is a band-relative (and culture-relative, but that’s not relevant for this thread) concept. You can only solve locally.
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“Split check evenly” is a handshake that only works when people have matched standards of what amount of money is in the indifference band (modulo individual differences like a Scroogey millionaire who pinches pennies). You can’t fix it with a finishing school teaching fork use.
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A huge proportion of culture war problems today are due to pretending deep protocol problems are either cosmetic or a matter of morals/ethics. Hence misdirected efforts at civil debate etc.
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I’m not sure what the solution is. But it’s clear what happens when the problem is mischaracterized. You have the human social equivalents of electric arcing, short circuits, fires, etc. The *best* case outcome is a blown fuse and a blackout.
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A useful starting point might be to distinguish 2 kinds of social mobility: life situation mobility (relocating across classes and/or cultures) versus “tourist” mobility (being able to visit/problem solve across “harmony cells” so to speak).
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I included an unnecessary Myers-Briggs poison pill specifically to ward off a particular subculture of harmony seekers
The opposite of my temperament, Introverted Feeling (Fi) btw, has what they think is a solution: causing what I think of as “values scenes”https://twitter.com/vgr/status/1322674148984844288 …
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MBTI language is convenient but not necessary to think this through. It has a positive side-effect of turning off statistics-rationalists If Fe is futile harmony theater, Fi is an irregular verb: “I’m behaving with integrity, you’re moral posturing, he’s causing a useless scene”
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A “values scene” is somebody breaking a harmony theater (often accising others of hypocrisy) and strutting around causing a scene, while sermonizing about how they’re not going to compromise their integrity. It’s as futile as the harmony theater.https://youtu.be/Uwapf5DnUrs?t=170 …
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End of conversation
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