But at a log band of 2 (wealth, power or any other hierarchy variable)or higher, it’s not stressful, just plain confusing and clumsy protocol wise. And it’s not about table manners and stuff, it’s just a completely alien headspace. You look similar but are from different species.
-
-
You can do ceremonies across 3 or more bands but no real problem solving is possible beyond a theatrical pass-me-the-salt level. Again note that we’re talking fundamental breaks, not cosmetic ones like using the wrong fork or missing a cultural reference.
Show this thread -
Cosmetic breaks are irrelevant. They make for social awkwardness and cringe, but don’t really get in the way. One side can learn the other’s culture of manners. You can fake knowledge of references. But deep protocol breaks can’t be smoothed away that way.
Show this thread -
“Split check evenly” is a handshake that only works when people have matched standards of what amount of money is in the indifference band (modulo individual differences like a Scroogey millionaire who pinches pennies). You can’t fix it with a finishing school teaching fork use.
Show this thread -
A huge proportion of culture war problems today are due to pretending deep protocol problems are either cosmetic or a matter of morals/ethics. Hence misdirected efforts at civil debate etc.
Show this thread -
I’m not sure what the solution is. But it’s clear what happens when the problem is mischaracterized. You have the human social equivalents of electric arcing, short circuits, fires, etc. The *best* case outcome is a blown fuse and a blackout.
Show this thread -
A useful starting point might be to distinguish 2 kinds of social mobility: life situation mobility (relocating across classes and/or cultures) versus “tourist” mobility (being able to visit/problem solve across “harmony cells” so to speak).
Show this thread -
-
I included an unnecessary Myers-Briggs poison pill specifically to ward off a particular subculture of harmony seekers
The opposite of my temperament, Introverted Feeling (Fi) btw, has what they think is a solution: causing what I think of as “values scenes”https://twitter.com/vgr/status/1322674148984844288 …
Show this thread -
MBTI language is convenient but not necessary to think this through. It has a positive side-effect of turning off statistics-rationalists If Fe is futile harmony theater, Fi is an irregular verb: “I’m behaving with integrity, you’re moral posturing, he’s causing a useless scene”
Show this thread -
A “values scene” is somebody breaking a harmony theater (often accising others of hypocrisy) and strutting around causing a scene, while sermonizing about how they’re not going to compromise their integrity. It’s as futile as the harmony theater.https://youtu.be/Uwapf5DnUrs?t=170 …
Show this thread
End of conversation
New conversation -
Loading seems to be taking a while.
Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.