One of my biggest personal flaws. And the person i forgive the least is myself.
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it's relative to the person, not to the kind of affront
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to be more clear: the person being grudged against/ forgiven, not the incidence in particular
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I’m now ashamed and won’t forgive myself
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You can let go unilaterally without trusting the person again, no? I mean as long as I don't meet them or interact with them again, I'd say option 4. But if I were to interact with them again, then option 2. Or maybe I don't understand stand what option 4 means.
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Yeah you’re a 2
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something something bayes P(future betrayal | past betrayal) > P(f. betrayal | p. betrayal and good apology) > P(f. betrayal | p. betrayal and recent loyalty) > P(f. betrayal | p. betrayal and good apology and recent loyalty) > P(f. betrayal | history of only loyalty)
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so, "enemies for life" in that the comparisons are strict (past betrayal never fully forgotten) but, "unilateral letting-go" in that over time trust can increase even if they don't explicitly apologize, and can even be a better signal than an apology (b/c talk is cheap)
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I lack the memory to hold grudges.
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Civil if someone apologizes but otherwise will just never speak to you again
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