Conversation

Some days I feel stupid but let myself sink into it instead of fighting it. And I gotta admit, it’s a luxurious feeling. Like settling into a hot tub and letting go. I look at some people who act stupid all the time and wonder... maybe they just choose it all the time?
Replying to
Another way to look at it is people have their own process and way of doing things, and this “stupidity” is not actually what’s bothering you, but maybe it’s the difference between how you and they do things
4
Replying to
I always hated "looking intelligent", there was this idea in "the black swan" by Rafael Sabatini , the hero was described as being at his most dangerous when he seemed most relaxed. So when I'm handling highest amount of overload I try to seem relaxed.
1
Replying to
But the whole giving perception of looking relaxed and laid off also has shortcomings, I know what I'm dealing with, other people think I'm lounging around basking in my glory while not focusing on cool social justice issues
Replying to
But the alternative of looking frazzled and hyper angsty, "trying" to prove myself "smart" in conversations sounds too classless to me. Sadly tech culture is oriented towards people who sound smart/thoughtful even if its not fun/objectively always useful.
1
Replying to
Like when I was in Waterloo, the internship one-upping game was everywhere, each convo seemed like I know more than you initially. But later I decided to build my skills up in deep learning but follow my own culture. Being competent != working on seeming competent IMO
Replying to
And being calm and laid back while stretching from comfort zone is extremely underrated in tech. At this point I'm just fine with letting people make their own conclusions about me. I'm not going to work hard on them to show my positive if they are not showing any investment.
Replying to
I prefer to indulge in my silliness, as opposed to my stupidity. I still inadvertantly do stupid things, frequently! But when I feel the need to blow off some brain steam, I find being silly or having fun- watching popcorn shows etc, to be much more fulfilling when framed as such
Show more replies