This is a rhetorical talk-like-a-pirate question. I don’t actually short things or otherwise invest in my gloomy speculations. I only nurture them as petty resentments against the world.
“Short X” as “nurse non-actionable petty resentment for X” has way more utility in everyday life and is much more relatable than the trading thing.
I’d like to move to swap the definitions officially. Can anyone second?