I think a lot of people mistake cultural literacy (knowing the right words for situations in a given time and place) with capacity for emotional regulation of self and others. I think I’m about as emotionally intelligent as either of my parents. Just different cultural range.
EI is kinda like a pointillist set of situational literacies. Can you manage personal setback? An angry spouse? A sibling fight? A workplace disagreement with insecure boss? Huge family scene? Can you judge what to manage at all versus let blow up? Can you do it in 3 languages?
Language is a good test. If you can’t manage a social conflict/stress test equally well in 2 languages you know, you’re using verbal skills, not EI. Test doesn’t apply to introspective 1-person situations though.
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